I glued my eyes until darkness,
not to see you, my beloved.
A phantom of a woman with crimson hands,
departing alone to deserted lands.
I can’t see all the destruction,
that ripped your beautiful face.
I can’t stand the cries of weeping mosques and churches.
I can’t hear the loud sighs of tormented children.
I can’t touch your broken heart.
I can’t feel your fading pulse.
I can’t weep anymore.
I’m frozen in the moment of departure.
You are mesmerised in my glued eyes.
I will dream of you every morning,
but with holes, a lot of holes in my heart.
Holes where the lost ones have once been.
My tears are still burning my soul.
Death in walking distance.
I know my footprints will be haunting me forever,
until I step on them once again.
I shall return with more olive trees in my hands,
bird seeds under my wing,
to revive all the slaughtered pigeons.
I shall behold my dreams, my beloved one.
I will drown our memories in the bottom of my heart.
Then wear a mask of silence,
cry for ages,
before the craws creep in silence
and steal them away.
I sing you love stories,
when you wake up, my sunshine,
when we are indulged in the river of passion,
all guilty and sinned,
seeking forbidden dreams.
Poem written by Najat Alshafie in honour of Heba Zagout.
*Art work by Heba Zagout, the 39-year-old Palestinian artist who was killed with her children by Israelis in an air strike in October 2023.